Follow the Golden Gate Bridge..?

...follow the Golden Gate Bridge!
(imagine that said like the very beginning of "follow the yellow brick road" in The Wizard of Oz)
That's exactly what I did on Monday - I followed the Golden Gate Bridge all the way to Fairfax.
After the best coffee ever (not just because I was chilly but because it was really brilliant coffee) in Fairfax, I discovered I had a soft/flat tire so Shannon (my coach and riding partner extraordinaire) changed the tube for me using his trusty CO2 cartridge.
Those things make me nervous - they fill SO FAST! I thought the tire was too full so I had him deflate it a bit.
After riding about five miles it turns out it was too soft so we pulled over to top it off (with that darn CO2 cartridge - a challenging friend!) and it broke the tire valve on the new tube.
So, we put the old tube back in because it was only a slow leak and Shan sprinted to the bike shop about three miles away while I rode on a very soft but psi maintaining rear tube.
He got another cartridge and tube but my slow leak tube got me all the way home and we were able to give our extra cartridge to a couple on a tandem, stuck with a flat in the middle of the bridge, after dark!
The total miles - 48!!
I'm so happy - I'm not sore and am looking forward to biking to and from Point Reyes very soon (that's about 80 some miles!)

Wanna help me reach my goal?

New Bike - OMG!

My honey got a package delivered today and it was a new bike for me!! OMG!
It's beautiful - and just the female geometry I needed!
He was supposed to get me an older version but he splurged and got me the 2008 Specialized Dolce Elite in white with pink accents. She rides like a dream and her name is Sweetie.
Straight out of the box the gears were shifting perfectly and it fits soo much better than the 2005 Specialized Sequoia Elite - it's subtle but I really feel the difference on the longer rides.

Sadly, we haven't been doing many of those as it's very cold (for riding bike) and that much harder to get out the door...

Here's hoping the weather picks up on my days off so I can ride my little Sweetie!

Wanna help me reach my goal?

We did it! Thank you!

I'd like to thank all of you who donated before December 1, 2008 for helping me raise over $1,000! Benchmark #1 has been reached! More than 1/3 of my required minimum and 21% of my personal goal of $5k! I'm so touched by your support!
I said I'd give the incentive prize to whomever helped the most and I'm humbled to say that my sweet, sweet Uncle Daniel pushed me over the edge.
He is a full time student in acupuncture school and works two nights a week at a neighborhood watering hole in Hayes Valley - Place Pigalle - if you're in SF, go say hi to him on Tuesday or Saturday night and tip him well!
He's been a wonderful support for me in this new millenium - starting with trekking out to the cornfields of Iowa to help my mom reprazent my family unit at my college graduation, then giving me a place to live when I first came to San Francisco and now always giving me pints of pear cider and introducing me to all of his watering hole friends every time I stop by to visit.
All of you have left me awed by your generosity and humbled that you have such faith in me. I promise to make you all very proud!

Wanna help me reach my goal?

37 is my lucky number

On Sunday, Shannon took me on the Paradise Loop in Marin. We rode from the Mission all the way thru Tiburon, around the Paradise Loop and then had Indian food in Sausalito and took the ferry home.
This is the first ride that I've felt in my legs a few days after. Seems I've found my working edge - my lucky number!
For now, I'm going to keep my mileage increases to just a few at a time and in taking my aunt Ann's advice - I'll be stretching MUCH more!
And, to take Tracey's advice, I think I'll be getting a new, more comfortable saddle soon... possibly even a new bike that's more suited to my female geometry.

Wanna help me reach my goal?

I rode to work sooner than expected!

I woke up on Thursday morning seeing the beautiful sunshine, knowing that I didn't need to be at work until noon and I said to Shannon "wanna ride to burlingame with me today?"
He was very excited and immediately got to cookin' up his special steel cut oats with peanut butter - really sticks to the ribs, that recipe!
We got out around 10:30 and it was a beautiful ride.
I noticed how much easier it was for me this time and that is so encouraging!
After 2.5 hours (I called ahead warning them that I'd be an hour late - no problem) and 24 miles, I rode all the way to work!
I felt SOO good all day long. I can't wait to do it again!

Wanna help me reach my goal?

WOW! Over 10% already!

I just wanted to post a quick thank you to those of you who jumped in so quickly to support this ride of mine!
I'm happily stunned to have gotten to 11% of my goal in less than 30 days!
I regret to inform you all that my only training done this last weekend was to ride my bike from Burlingame to San Bruno (only about six miles) on my way home from work on Friday. It's something but I'm looking forward to getting a much longer ride in soon - I'll be sure to let you all know!

Wanna help me reach my goal?

i'm going to ride my bike 545 miles next summer!

Ever since I moved to San Francisco and heard about this crazy bike ride from SF to LA, I've thought about doing it.
Two years ago, I discovered that a friend of a friend, Emily, (who is now a dear friend) is the volunteer coordinator for the SF AIDS Foundation. I discovered this when I was looking around the internet for a volunteer opportunity around my birthday (June 1), which was something I'd committed myself to doing back in 2003.
I helped Emily with some office work (basically, I volunteered to help her find volunteers) and then helped out on the day that the ride starts.
This was such a wonderful experience - get up at 3am (just like when Mom used to drive us up to Maine from PA) and help out wherever help is needed (two years in a row I ended up in "bike parking" and must say it's a wonderful way to see LOTS of interesting bikes, but that's another story...). I was exhilarated after that first year and decided that the next year I'd help for a week whenever I could and *maybe* go on the ride.
Come February 2008 and registration was closed because the ride was completely full - both SF and LA had their maximum number of riders!
Amazing.
So, I checked my work schedule and committed to four or five days of helping where needed AND going to work. This culminated on my birthday when I got up at 3am again and parked bikes (with a birthday tiara on).
This year tho, when everyone left and the hall was empty, I was really sad - I wanted to be with them.

So, I finally did it.

I signed up. http://www.tofighthiv.org/goto/adrienecrimson

I'm going to ride 545 miles from SF to LA from May 31 to June 6, 2009 (and you better believe I'll have a tiara glued to my helmet the whole time to celebrate turning 32!)

Part of my commitment comes from simply wanting to help people on my birthday. The other part is this foundation. The SF AIDS Foundation provides practical information about AIDS, services for people with HIV/AIDS and services to prevent the spread of the disease. And they throw really great fundraising events like this one as well as sponsor lots of fun events in the city throughout the year - all with the goal of educating the public about how to stay safe and healthy, with or without HIV/AIDS.

I think this disease needs to stop now and one of the best ways to do that is to prevent it spreading.
One of the best ways to prevent it spreading is to educate (and give out clean needles and free condoms).
And, to do this takes employees, time and space.

By sponsoring me on this ride you'll be providing funds for this amazing organization to continue to help people stay safe and healthy.
To give you an idea why they need this money - I just read their operating budget and expenses document that basically says that their expenses for 2008/9 are $25 million and the government (local, state, federal) will give them about $7 million. The other $18 million are donated by regular people who want to contribute to a just cause.

The minimum for each rider to raise is $3000 and I've committed to going a bit above and beyond with a $5000 goal. I'm hoping to throw a party sometime in March that will be a fundraiser because I've always wanted to do something like that. I'm imagining that it will involve an auction of donated goods and a raffle of less expensive donated goods - sound like fun? I'll keep you posted as to when it'll happen and maybe you can join in the fun! I figure, if I'm throwing a fundraising event, I should definitely increase my fundraising goal.

There are many ways to contribute (it's all tax deductible as well!):
- many corporations provide matching funds for their employee's donations so check with your boss/HR department to see if you can double your support (when I worked for the design firm, I asked the CEO if the company would match its employee's donations and he said "yeah, sure, up to $200" so I got all of the employees to donate $200 collectively and that was $400 for our bike messenger Mary's ride - who, by the way, rode in a lavender tuxedo - sorry, I haven't got any pics.)
- you can choose to donate online once or utilize their automatic payment option that draws any amount you designate once a month. this is a super easy way to donate $100 without feeling it.
- you can download a form (found at the very bottom of this page) to send in a check or credit card info for one time or monthly automatic payments.

I'm committing all of my Friday tips to my sponsorship account. In this economy, one might think that people would be getting "luxury treatments" like facials and waxing less, but it's only been a little bit slower. Still, my friday tips have only been between $20 and $45 for the last few weeks. However, any and every amount helps, no matter how small.

I'll keep http://www.tofighthiv.org/goto/adrienecrimson updated with my training progress and photos and on the ride itself I'll do my best to live blog about the whole event.

I'll also keep you posted about the fun raffles I'll be having soon.
Would anyone donate in $1 increments to win the right to choose the color I dye my hair for the ride?
How about $2 increments to win the right to choose a subject that I'll take photos of on the ride?

Thanks for sticking with this post all the way thru! If you like any of those raffle ideas and want to start collecting your "tickets" - just go to http://www.tofighthiv.org/goto/adrienecrimson and when you donate online, be sure to put a note that says "this is for the hair color raffle - magenta!" or "this is for the photo raffle - road kill!"

First training weekend!

On Saturday, Shannon took me to Marin for my second long ride ever and first training ride for ALC! We drove to Nicasio and then biked about 28 miles r/t to Pt. Reyes.
Shanny encouraged me to leave behind my "civilian" hoodie (cotton, not cycle worthy) but I held firm and am so grateful as it was pretty cold in the shade and slight wind. The sun did warm us occasionally and overall I was totally comfortable - Shanny was a bit cold as the last time he'd done that ride it was 90 degrees and he didn't think he'd need a long sleeved jersey this time.
The ride went really well except for two things: one, we ate too much for lunch at the half way point so I was exhausted for the first five miles or so on the way back; two, about a mile from the car I bonked (ie. hit the wall, ran out of juice, etc) and stopped without warning. This caused us to crash and drop our bikes - with no harm to body or bike, just ego.
"You need to tell me when you're going to stop!"
"You need to get off my butt!"
I rested for a bit and was able to make it to the car without further incident.
We made up and went to dinner at the wonderful Avatar's in Sausalito - YUM! Pumpkin/Dungeness Crab enchilada, lentil soup and samosa with yougurt and tamarind sauce. We had the Avatar's Dream for dessert and it was awesome. We highly recommend this restaurant if you like Indian food and creativity in food preparation.
Sunday was a day of running errands, our favorite being a stop at Performance Bicycle to check out their jerseys (I've been riding in a cycle sports bra with t-shirt). Of course, they're having a big sale right now so I was able to come away with a fun flourescent yellow sleeveless jersey and Shanny sponsored me with a super cute black short sleeved jersey covered in polka dots and rings. We were saying that it's totally able to go from bike straight to dinner (as long as no one questions the pockets on the back... :)
Now I have real cycling jerseys to go with my tights, socks (one pair with pirate kitties, one pair with flying pigs) and shoes. I'm getting all professional n' stuff!
Thanks everyone for your support - it's awesome to see how quickly my thermometer is filling up! Hopefully, I can pull together $1k by November 30th so I can get the ALC messenger bag that they've incentivised us with...

Wanna help me reach my goal?

I'm actually not counting how many days we're here...

...and it's wonderful.

We were awakened at 10am to get ready for the day. Markus showed us an English blog review (sorry no link right now) of the resaurant in Malaga that we were being surprised with. Hundreds of Spaniards all sit under an awning while watiers walk around shouting out what they're carrying. We see something we like and wave them to our table. They charge us by the size of the plates on the table.
We played Fire for three or four hours while picking at all different kinds of sea food. It was loud and beautiful and dreamy - totally surrounded by locals at their special Suntag meal we were able to blend right in.
Well, except that one time that Markus got a little excited about winning a round of Fire by yelling "FIRE!" a bit too loud and the few tables around us looked at us alarmedly. We just motioned to them that he was a bit crazy and they nodded in agreement and carried on with their eating.

Now we're in for the evening and looking forward to more adventures tomorrow - perhaps the Picasso museum in Malaga!

Did I mention the pureed watermelon and vodka? We're still drinking it - what a delicioso treat!

Dia Tres a Espana - the market and paella

A fun part of this trip has been learning and practicing speaking both Spanish and German. Our hosts are German and Marie and her family have been coming to this home since she can remember so she's got a bit of Spanish but mostly speaks German with Markus and English with us.
Shannon lived in Munich with the help of Markus for about a year and he lived in Mexico as an exchange student for a couple of months when he was at Santa Cruz high school.
I studied French in high school and college and have picked up a bit of Spanish and German from Shannon.
When I try to speak Spanish, a lot of French comes out.
When I try German, it's Sprench.
But it's so much fun!
I'm looking forward to being in Germany for a couple of days, surrounded by German like I'm surrounded by Spanish here.

Today we went to the local market where I got myself a maxi dress (thanks for the suggestion Nicole!) for only €10 because of Shannon's mad negotiation skills.
"How much for the dress?"
"€15"
"Okay, Gracias." puts dress back on rack.
The shop keeper asks me "You like it?"
I say "Yes" and he says, "Okay, €10"

It was hot and breezy at the market and many of the goods looked to me like things one finds in most of these markets: cheap t shirts, silver jewelry and lots of clothing and scarves made in India. But, the Spanish-ness that I noticed were leather goods like bags and shoes, pottery including house numbers and placards as well as dishes and fun clothing (like the dress i got).

The market closed for siesta around 3 and we went home to the Marbella Harbor for our first Paella. Due to Shanny's fierce allergy to shellfish, we got one with only shimp and fish and it was amazing. M & M's was filled with shellfish, shrimp and fish and they loved it.
We walked around after eating and got to see the ritzy rich in Marbella doing their thing. They looked so fancy in their expensive labels. Markus had to go into the electronics store to see the iPhone 3G that they apparetly had unlocked and for a mere €1400 it could have been his. That's almost $2000! We didn't believe that it was ulocked but without a SIM card to test it ourselves, there was no way to prove it. I had mine with me but didn't want to deal with them using my SIM.

After this we wandered back to the car and headed home for the evening. We had pureed watermelon with vodka while playing cards. Markie and Marie had a suprise for us in the morning and we had to hit the hay early so around 1am we all fell into our beds.

Dia Dos a Espana - la playa

To help us cure our collective hangover, we went to the beach. The beaches here have umbrellas and lounge chairs for rent and the one that M & M like has a bar/restaurant right on the sand.
It was sunny but very windy that day so we opted to sit on the slightly covered porch to have the tinto verano that Shanny had to buy us because of his lost bet the night before. We were playing a card game called Fire and commenting about the people on the beach getting massages right in their beach chairs.
Adriene "I wonder if they're using sunscreen for their massage lotion"
Everyone "probably not"
Adriene "Those massage therapists aren't going to last very long if they keep bending over so far to give these massages" and a discussion of body mechanics while massaging ensues.
In the middle of a particularly festive round of Fire, we here some squabbling and Markus says "Woah!"
The two Thai (?) people giving the massages were having a fight. The woman was shorter than the man and yelling right in his face while he pushed her repeatedly, once even sending her down to the sand. I was amazed that she kept getting back in his face after he'd been so physically abusive. He was also grabbing her wrists and hands in the attempt to damage her means of generating income, I'm sure. The waiter finally said something along the lines of "call the police" and the argument went from physical to just verbal - but still so much in each others faces. Then, almost as quickly as it started, it stopped, they came to some kind of agreement and went back to massaging the sunbathers! Again, I felt amazed at these people and their industrious and, I assume, competitive line of work. I can imagine that their argument was about money and that the end of the argument came about because one of them offered the other a payout or a client.
Until the waiter referenced "la polizia" I was sort of taking this in stride as a "spanish thing." I'm glad I got pulled out of that pigeon hole and brought back to the reality of competition for tourist money. Thank Gaia that even tho I'm in a competitive industry, I don't have to deal with people trying to take away my physical ability to work as a way to get themselves more work.

Shortly after that, we went home for siesta, and then back out for an early dinner at 9pm. More pimientos and boquerones came to the table - yums! Also sizzling bowls of shrimp in a garlic butter broth - heaven! I had sole in champagne sauce which was flavorful and lovely, Shannon had the cod in chef's special sauce while Markie and Marie got thier favorite dishes - grilled fish variety and fried fish variety, respectively. Marie's was definitely the most interesting looking - pieces and whole fishes fried and piled high on her plate. Shanny's cod was very salty - at first we thought it was the sauce but it was the fish itself! This is not the cod of my youth time visits to Cape Cod - no no. But when we were used to it, it tasted of the sea and the sauce was spiced just right to counter the salt.

When we returned home, we melted into bed with happy, full bellies, and finally recovered from our hangover a la bienvenu a espana.

Arrival a Espana

After twenty hours of travelling, we are greeted by Markus at the gate in Malaga, Spain with a "Finally you're here!". It was sweet to watch how happy Shannon was to see his best friend after two years apart. I was expecting to have to go thru customs but now that Europe is a big union, you only have to do it once. Yes, I was disappointed to get denied yet another passport stamp, but at least going thru customs on our four hour Frankfurt layover took all of five minutes and we were asked no questions at all. Alas, again I have one stamp in a new passport and I hope that the next trip I take will be soon enough that the customs official doesn't look at me and say "You don't get out much, do you?" like the one in the British Virgin Islands did.

It was 4:30 in the afternoon and it felt like morning to me, I was ready for the day! Shannon, however, was very tired as neither of us were able to sleep at all on either of our flights, or during layover. Markus drove us to Marbella in the jeep with the back window open, my hair was flying all over the place and I was smiling ear to ear to finally be in Europe. Fifteen minutes into our drive, Shanny is animated and also grinning wildly. The start of the end of jet lag!
After driving on the costal freeway and looking at the Mediterranean Sea for my first time, we turned up the hill and navigated narrow, twisty, curvy side streets with white houses, palm trees (just like in California), and tall green hedges that provide a lovely genteel property deliniation. We drive all the way to the end of the street and there was the gate of the house. Markus honked and the dog next door barked and then Marie greeted us with champagne and her big beautiful smile. We drank our champagne in the salt water pool as we caught up and continued smiling and laughing.

The afternoon faded slowly and while we settled ourselves into our rooms our wonderful hosts made us a delicious Spanish dinner. There were two kinds of sauteed peppers: pimientos julienned and sauteed are much like our bell peppers and pimientos de padron are typically sauteed whole, a lovely dark green pepper about the size of a jalepeno and slightly bitter rather than spicy. There was also boquerones, a Spanish sardine in olive oil and garlic. I've not been exposed to the "little fish" very much and have had an aversion in the past, mostly because of that cartoon can with the key that rolls back the top. These, however, are delicious and delicate and lovely on sliced baguette with tomato. And the piece de resistance was a whole fish baked in salt. Markus put three or four cups of very coarse sea salt in the pan, put the fish on top and then covered it in salt to bake for 30 min or so. Holy yum. I'm excited to get to know this Spanish delicacy very well.
In effort to make sure we weren't "jet laggers," Markie and Marie plied us with mucho alcohol. In the jeep coming from the airport, I was practicing saying "Mi gustaria una cupa de sangria" (I would like a glass of sangria) so after the champange was finito, Marcus offered us tinto verano, a quick sangria made with red wine and lemon soda and served over ice that is muy buen. Then there was a delicioso, fruity and floral sauvignon blanc with dinner and finally, when the wine was gone and the table cleared, gin and tonics.
We talked about American politics and television, made plans for the week, Markus and Shannon teased each other while Marie and I laughed, Shannon lost a bet because he was the last into the pool and then we walked to the beach and I swam in the lovely Mediterranean Sea for the first time. We made it without sleeping until 4 or 5am and all awoke just after 11am badly in need of water and advil but ready to start the day - kein jet lag! Mission accomplished!

a small list of requests

1. if you own and use a cellular or mobile phone, please - don't answer it if you can't spend a moment to talk with the person calling you. that's what voicemail and caller ID are for. if it's an emergency, the person will call back. whatever you do, don't answer and say "I have to call you right back." seriously, whoever is calling can probably await your call back for a few minutes.

2a. there are these things in cars that the government says we're supposed to use whenever we're planning to turn. they're called "turn signals" or "indicators" - some like to call them blinkers because they do that - they blink. and they're yellow. and when someone is riding a bike on your right, and you're planning to turn right, which would essentialy cut him/her off or worse, using your turn signal will warn the cyclist to stop and avoid an issue. it will keep your car from getting dented or scratched and will keep a cyclist as able as s/he was before you turned.
did you know that not using a turn signal can get you a ticket? yep. it's one of those law thingies.

2b. if you are going to cut someone off, either with or without your turn signal, please just do it. if you change your velocity mid cut off, you make it even harder for the person avoiding bodily harm to get out of harm's way.
start cut off at 30 mph - finish cut off at 30 mph.
but, you're still a douchebag for doing it.

3. to stay with the whole car thing...
please, please, PLEASE - especially in san francisco - be aware of where you're putting your car when you parallel park along the street. if you're at the corner, line up with the edge of the corner/spot so that you maximize the chances of everyone getting a spot. if you park three feet away from the corner, the guy behind you parks four feet away from you and the guy behind him parks four feet away from him, that's a whole spot. i'm not saying you should make it impossible for someone to get out of his/her parking spot because you only left them two inches, but think about how hard it is to find a spot and how nice it would be if everyone took everyone else into consideration.
but, perhaps that's an entirely different topic.

and finally,
4. please be aware of the following when writing, anywhere.
they're = 'they are' as in "they're going to six flags"
there = 'not here' as in "the roller coaster is over there"
their* = 'belongs to someone' as in "those kids didn't have a good ride. that's their puke"
* this is plural! not to be used to refer to a singular person a la facebook's updates about your friends. if you must refer to a singular person without a gender specification, please use "this/that person" "him/her" "his/hers" etc

And we'll put it all together: They're going to have to clean up all of their puke over there.

Timber Phoenix, Kitty Extraordinaire

The Friday night before Mother's Day, we drove from Burlingame to Pacifica down a road called Sharp Park. It's a two lane road with a 4 foot tall cement median dividing the two sets of two lanes. It was still very light out at 6:45 or so and I was able to notice, as the passenger, that there was a tiny little kitten walking up the road, on the inside of the road against the median.
Immediately I said "Shannonthatwasakitten! *sobbing immediately* We have to turn around and go get it *continued sobbing*"
We drove another mile down the road to get around the median and go back up the other side of the road. I spotted kitty and we pulled over and put the hazards on. I ran across the traffic free road to the median and the sound of the mewing. I said "kitty kitty - i'm coming" and when I reached over the median to get her, she looked up at me, right in my eyes, and put her little paws up to meet my reaching hands.
We were on our way to dinner at Kyle's and brought her in while we ate homemade pizza and bonded with his parents and she stayed in a clean recycling bin.

The first thought was to give her to Shan's step mom Kathy for mother's day but then we fell in love with her and she's ours. Yay!

birth assister lady

the awkward title is due to the awkwardness of the decision that i'm considering.

*whispers shyly*

I'm considering the path of the midwife

it's strange for me to say that for the following reasons:
1. For years now, I've felt the need to adopt, if I ever decide to become a parent, more than creating and birthing my own child.
2. I recently started a new career so I hesitate to move too quickly but feel very drawn to at least doing the research to decide if it's the right idea.
3. Being a midwife ain't no joke yo! To choose such a necessary and ancient role is really life affirming and scary and wonderful and daunting and did I say scary?

it's absolutely natural for me to say that for the following reasons:
1. I've felt like a childless parent since my late teens - I've had ideas about child rearing since I can remember. People tend to ask me if I have kids when we talk about theirs because I say things like "Oh, he's four? That's such a fun age - differentiated but not as difficult as two and three" and "Well, teenagers can be like that - just be patient and she'll come around"
2. All of my favorite facial clients are pregnant women and new mothers. It's not a bias as much as just a joyful treat for me to be able to pamper a mother to be. I love hearing about the changes in lifestyle, the falling in love with her baby, and all of the physical conditions - good and bad.
3. I've been wanting to do something medical and serious and this seems to be the most joyful option I've considered.

in starting my research, i came across this blog post that references the project of a woman i met once or twice when i lived and studied art, science, ayurveda and philosophy in fairfield, iowa and who shares many friends of mine: One Million Mothers Creating a Miracle
the premise is that they're asking for one million people to donate just $1 to help support Ibu Robin Lim's clinic Yayasan Bumi Sehat

Please look around the site and, if you are so inspired, help in whatever way you can. Especially if you are going to Bali and can take the clinic much needed supplies that they rely on but can't accept thru the mail because of "outrageous customs fees."

At my job, we are given monthly challenges with occasional cash prizes for meeting goals. Last month I met a goal and was given $125 - $25 in cash and $100 in a visa check card. I gave the entirety of the visa check card, and will give any future visa check cards to Yayasan Bumi Sehat thru the paypal account here. I hope that inspires you to help them out as well.

Big thanks go out to Joel for turning me on to Yayasan Bumi Sehat and whose website has a sweet candid photo of Ibu Robin right on the home page.

what if

if i wear flowers and vanilla
and see your skin in my milky tea

if i paint my nails the way you would
and wear my clothes as if they are yours

if i dream of you when out of body
and spend waking hours longing for those dreams

if i share your soul
with the rest of the family
but not so much this body

will i still be part of us
will we still take journeys together
make plans and strategies
etherically working the physical
enjoying existence
not looking at a goal
but simply be-ing because
it's
what
we
do

|||||||

have i forgotten a plan
that was laid
aeons before

am i stuck
longing
for something we planned
i would simply appreciate
when i could

i don't remember home
as much as i'd like
but i know i want to go there
to re-read the plans
to re-feel the task
to be re-minded that this is a joyful existence

but i do go there
without my body
regularly

sometimes you are there with me
re-minding me of the sweetness

the body waking is then oh so bitter

|||||||

what if insanity really does run in the family
and these are just the rantings of
a mad mind
that simply cannot capture
the ease of this place, this body, this task, this connection

i'm sure i've got plenty of time
to work it all out

isn't that the plan?

4 reasons why I'm excited

1. I just found a set of glow-in-the-dark rosary beads on the ground in the parking lot and they are still rubber banded and in a little zip lock bag. I've always thought the glow-in-the-dark Christian artifacts seemed a little strange and now I have some of my own little-strange-Christian-artifact to make art with!
The bag has marks on it like it got rolled over with a car. That makes me giggle.

2. Yesterday I whacked my arm on the counter at work (again) and promptly put arnica cream on it and took some arnica pills. A few hours later, I did the arnica again. Then I went home and ate lots of fresh pineapple.
Arnica and the bromine in pineapple are supposed to keep bruises from discoloring and hurting.
Today, the bruise is half what it was the last time I whacked my arm into the counter and it doesn't hurt at all. Yay for homeopathy and healing with foods!

3. The fresh pineapple I ate last night was AMAZING! We ate a quarter of it raw and put the rest of it into the braised chicken broth to cook and add it's flavor. Fresh pineapple cooked with chicken is really tasty - a completely different fruit than the common canned pineapple one finds in chinese food and on Hawaiian pizza. YUM!
The chicken turned out amazingly too!

4. We have two pints of ben and jerry's in the freezer waiting to be devoured. Call me over 30 but I'm so excited for ice cream and a DVD tonight.

overheard

today i overheard myself in this conversation:
person bagging groceries: oh, you don't want a bag?
me: no thanks - I've got one here. no need for more plastic.
pbg: [something something about his neighbors that I couldn't quite make out] yeah, they love plastic.
me: they better, it's not going anywhere!
cute girl at cash register: well said.

i'm pretty proud of myself for letting that come out without any forethought - i like it when my brain helps me out.

good brain - have some rest now.

cycling

Seven things I like to do while riding my bicycle:

1. give out tickets, in my head, to douchebags not doing things according to standard, ticketable, traffic laws.

2. fart - it's the funnest place to fart - except for maybe around the campfire.

3. sing a song that goes "la la la la"

4. pedal as fast as I can and then laugh or say "yeah!" kinda to myself - working up to shouting it out loud.

5. record outgoing voicemail messages to amuse those who make it to the voicemail box connected to my phone number. there are two different messages...

6. squint, carefully, and tilt my helmeted head down a bit so the visor blocks the sun because I'm not pleased with any of my current sunglasses.

7. change gears - soon, I'll get to change 27 but for over a month I've only really used two - maybe four. (broken right side lever - only three gears in back and I never really use the big chain ring in front)

breath

Ten of my favorite experiences with my breath

1. when I've had some wine and I exhale deeply I really enjoy the quality of my breath.

2. when I've been dancing for hours and feeling the music and my body and my breath takes over and it's deep and full and loud - then I push harder. GAWD I miss that - it's been years. SIGH.

3. when I've been sitting or lying down for a while and I get up and stretch and have a head rush because of the lack of breath - I always get in the most interesting head spaces that I wish I could record somehow.

4. one time, when I was in college, a friend walked me thru some healing exercise where I "hyper oxygenated my blood" by breathing fast and deep - it was a really wonderful experience and has been referenced a few times since in different healing experiences.

5. when I'm giving a client their shoulder massage and I take a deep breath at the same time, or just before, they do. that one makes me feel dharmic.

6. sharing breath with my partner is always dreamy when I enjoy it.

7. when taking a deep breath actually does clear my head and calm me down.

8. when I'm crying really hard and my breath has a shudder - it's uncomfortable but satisfying somehow.

9. on a crisp, clear night when I'm riding my bike on a flat, straight road thru the trees as fast as I can go and I spontaneously take a huge deep breath.

10. one night in college, I tried to convince a friend that inhaling a puff of smoke and holding it as deeply as possible in the belly until a yawn comes was a really freeing way to get high. she told me that i should try getting naked and walking around the dining hall because, that too, would be a freeing experience.